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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29812785">you explode his head, you explode my heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bicassidy/pseuds/bicassidy'>bicassidy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>No Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>13 year olds, 7th graders going through scary shit, Bestfriends in love, Blood, F/M, Gore, Jealousy, Soulmates, Telekinesis, Uhm, and of IT by stephen king, and of stranger things, anyway, basically a mix of i am not okay with this, bye omg-, cool unrealistic names haha, fanfic of my own book, fantasies, idk if I spelled his name right, if u know me no u dont, if ur my friend shut up pretend im a stranger, i’m their age pls don’t think i’m weird i’m just trying to relate to them BYE, kids in love, made up characters - Freeform, set in 1985, set in the summer, some weird ass dreams, some weird ass shit, the characters are dumbasses, the characters are exactly like richie and eddie, twin flames, yes - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:55:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,202</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29812785</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bicassidy/pseuds/bicassidy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>hi this is something I did because I had nothing better to do, also this book gonna be long because I'm going for a novel, and I will definitely rewrite this when im older, this is just for fun right now!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1: The Questionings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is the first chapter, setting up and foreshadowing the future of this story. I'm not going to spoil anything in this story, but if you read this before I become famous from it then good job man ;)</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>idk</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ash POV</p><p>“oh my fucking god can you shut up? puh-leeeeaaassseeeee??” Ash groans throwing her head back. “I don’t wanna listen to your shit rants about how stupid you feel doing math right now!” River rolled his eyes and sighed. </p><p>River always did that. He always ran his hand through his big, soft, shiny, blonde curls when he got stressed. He always smiled at Ash after. She assumes it’s because he doesn’t want her to know he actually has negative emotions. He always did those things. It wasn’t like Ash was obsessed with River’s every move. She’s just an observant person, especially when it comes to people she loves and cares about. Besides, Ash did some things all the time too. For example, she would always twirl her hair around her finger when looking at her crush. She would always start mumbling cuss words when she was angry at someone. She always picked at her nails. She had been doing it since she was little, so it deformed them to look odd. It wasn’t like gross or anything, just wide and short. She often got hang nails along with her long masculine looking hands. </p><p>“Shee, why do you think i’m insufferable?” Ash looked down at River from the top bunk bed. His clip board and pencil, along with his homework, were tossed off on the floor beside him. He was spread out amongst the bottom mattress, his hair curling and turning around his ears and on the pillows. His hands were rested underneath his head, and he had a disconnected look on his face. He was still staring at her, as per usual, only this time he seemed to be thinking of something else.<br/>
“Learn a new word, hmm, idiot?” River had a selection of ‘big words’ he would say and ‘insufferable’ was in fact, not one of them. “No. I don’t really know what it means.” River smirked as he watched ash raise an eyebrow to think about what to say. Truly, sometimes he was insufferable. He was arrogant and not very self aware. “Well then why the hell did you ask?” Ash asked, seeking an honest answer. “Well, pet, I wanted to know if I am. I can look it up on my dads computer when I get home.” River said turning his head away almost offended, but still clearly amused. “Mhm...” Ash nodded sarcastically and then rolled over on her back. </p><p>She let her arm dangle off the side of the bed frame. She felt the fan’s breeze fall on her face over and over. Every few seconds it would die down then rise again. The fan had been running for a while. That’s what caused it. At least, she thinks that’s what caused it. It’s the last week of school. She didn’t have to do homework, but she had gotten a bad grade on a test, so this was just bonus work to get back up to a B+ instead of a B-. Ash used to get straight A’s. The first time she got a B was in 6th grade, that was last year. River still gets straight A’s. In every single class. Ash always admired how River never studied or really learned anything but seemed to be the best kid in most classes. Maybe the key to it was just not caring. Not overthinking. Maybe he was the luckiest kid in the world and just guessed his way through life. Truly, River isn’t all too smart. He’s an idiot when it comes to street smarts. He’s completely oblivious and has no idea how to hold a conversation with anyone. The only people he can do that with seem to be Ash and his other friend, Reagan. Ash didn’t know much about Reagan except for the fact he was Rivers friend, and River trusted him. </p><p>There was silence for a moment. The only thing you could hear was the faint giggled and telling of children in their neighborhood saying goodbye to go home and get ready for bed and the click clacking noise the fan was making. The soft breeze that was hit Ashes face suddenly stopped. Ash opened her eyes. The fan had stopped. She looked over at the light switch. Nobody had turned it off, and River looked like he fell asleep. He has rolled onto his side and held a pillow into his chest, as if he was a big spoon. Ash blushed, not because of River, but because it was the thoughts that come with the spooning. Not because of River, but because she’s a hormonal 13 year old who has nothing in her brain except the things she’s aloud to have up in there. For example: Did she remember the hopping down from her bunk bed on that one certain floor board makes a loud BOOM compared to the others? No. Luckily when she opened her eyes from cringing, he was still sound asleep. She let out a breath of relief and sneaked over to the door. </p><p>She twisted the doorknob carefully, hesitant to see why the fan just stopped. She wasn’t scared or worried, just thinking maybe there was a serial killer in the house ready to murder her and then eat her because why not make him a cannibal? She peeked out the door to see pitch black. “Ohh...” She sighed, and remembered that there would be a power outage from the heat. Fun. She shut the door with her foot gently. She contemplated snuggling up with River. She felt lonely tonight. She decided on yes but if she wakes up on the middle of the night, it’s a sign to get up and go back to her bunk. River wouldn’t mind, she’s done both options before. River is her best friend and she’s the most comfortable around him. She first grabbed her thin blanket off her bed along with her dragon stuffed animal. She then hopped up on the bed with River and snuggled herself into him,  feeling his short breaths fall on her nose and glide across the rest of her face. She took the blanket and put it on top of them, then snuggled up with her dragon between them. She soon drifted into a soft sleep.</p><p>Page 2</p><p>Ash and River both shot up as soon as they heard the alarm clock she had set. River quickly tumbled out of bed while Ash stretched and looked for his backpack while yawning in bed. She watched as River found it then hurried off to the bathroom. River and her the. both got dressed for school. Ash stared at herself in the mirror. She thought she looked cute today, she was wearing a white Tee, with red sleeves and a mushroom in the middle. She had on denim shorts, white socks with red and light blue stripes at the top, with red converse. Her hair had curled up during her sleep and her hair naturally was lightening up. That usually happened in the summer and she rather liked how it looked. She unlocked the door- “AH!” Ash jumped back holding her chest with wide eyes. River started laughing maniacally at her startled face, “You fucking idiot!” Ash whisper shouted as she punched River on the arm. He let out a small ow  and rubbed the spot where she had punched.</p><p>On their way to school, Ash observed the roads and buildings attentively. She noticed how bright and colorful they were. Neon colors shining out from the windows, pretty prints as paint splatter or abstract shapes. They were all so pretty for such a boring town. Ash then proceeded to watch River. He seemed to be in his own little world. He never told any secrets or gossiped. He wasn’t in a bubble anymore than he was the bubble. The bubble Ash would retreat to for the rest of her life, just like before. She and River were introduced when they were little kids, around 6.</p><p>1978</p><p>Ash held close to her dad. She was supposed to meet a new kid today. Daddy had said he was friends with his dad. Daddy also said we get to go play at the playground. Ash squeezed her dad’s hand as she looked down at her shoes. They were small red shoes, with small velcro strips going from side to side. She wanted to fidget with something. She always wanted to especially when she was nervous. Today, she was definitely nervous. She looked around for something to fidget on herself. She thought about playing with her small dark braids, but then the buttons on her small red overalls caught her eye. She took her thumb and started twisting and turning the shiny piece of metal. Her dad then picked her up, hugged her, and told her to go play on the playground while he and his friend talked. She nodded, not wanting to but being left with no choice.</p><p>And with that she stumbled off, towards the parkour section. When she finally got there after what seemed like forever of trying to find it and pushing past all the running kids, there was a line. A LINE. She whined for a moment u til the kid in front of her turned around. “Hey! Are you....” Ash blinked. She stared at the kid as he thought, She noticed he didn’t have his front teeth, neither did she. He also had a big brown curly mess on top of his head, but it looked so soft. Ash almost reached out a hand to touch it impulsively when he looked back up and said “OH! You’re Ash, right?” He smiled a wide smile. While she nodded slowly, she noticed that the line had gone and it was now his turn to go. “Uh.. It’s uhh your turn to go!” She shook her head at River completely forgetting everything her dad had told her to do. “Oh! Okay! when you’re done meet me at the slide!” He said while climbing off. </p><p>She had went after, totally outdoing the rest of the kids trying to do it fast. She was out of breath but she went to the slide anyway. “Hi...” She paused to think, but it wasn’t coming to her. “What’s your name?” She was still breathing heavily. The tall boy then got down on one knee, grabbed her hand and went, “River..” as he winked and kissed her hand. She pulled back, although she found it quite funny that he did that. “Ugh... your gonna give me cooties!” She giggled. The tall boy, River, then shook his head then mumbled, “I’ll show you cooties..” And then Ash went running as River chased after her trying to kiss her.</p><p>When she came back to the present time she was at school. She turned over to River as if to mention the time they met but he was talking to the teacher. Apparently he had gotten in trouble for saying a cuss word. She let out a HAH as she walked off to her class. Today was a B day, which meant she had science, drama, english, and math. She only had River in math and drama today. Tomorrow, Friday, an A day, she had him in all of her classes except Art Fundamentals. Her favorite class with him was GT (Gifted and Talented) GT was basically free time, and if there was any work at all, it was fun work that she actually learned things from. When she arrived in science, she was told there was free time, again. She nodded then headed to her seat. </p><p>In science, she didn’t have many friends. She thought about it for a second, and although she had two of her ex-crushes who both hate her guts, this was one of the best classes. It allowed her to feel loud, and un-judged, because her two ex-crushes, and the rest of their friends, were loud, arrogant, and obnoxious. Ash was a kind person, not at all like them. Still, she admired how they were so care free, they didn’t have to plan out their conversations in their head or sit in silence the whole time if their friends weren’t with them, because they could easily make a new friend.  If they wanted to even go be friends with her, they could. But even if it was just them three or them two in their, they wouldn’t. Ash didn’t do anything to them or really even hang out with them at all. They just hated her for liking them. Maybe he were repulsed by the idea of Ash liking them, for maybe they saw her as ugly or annoying. It was likely that was the case. But also, they were kinda friends with River. Ash didn’t see what was so great about them now, in 7th grade. They were great in 3rd grade or 6th grade, but they became mean as the years went on instead of more mature. </p><p>She sighed as the bell finally rung. She was doodling on her note book the whole time. She spots up dragging her backpack up onto her shoulders, then pacing out the door. She saw River coming out of english class. She caught up to him throwing her arm around him, and slightly struggling consider how tall he was compared to her. “Hey, love.” He said smirking. “Hey, idiot.” Ash looked around at the kids surrounding them, they all looked... jealous? Maybe... but of what? Maybe they thought her and River were together. Maybe they just wanted a friendship like ours. Maybe they liked River. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had liked him. Many people have liked him. Ash can’t blame them, he’s funny, and tall, and cute, and kind, and there’s nothing wrong with him. Sometimes she wonders if River sees Ash that way. Maybe. She hopes so. Why does she hope so... </p><p> </p><p>Rivers POV</p><p>River and Ash make their way down to the next building where drama is. Ash has her arm slung around Rivers shoulders and she’s leaning slightly, and on her tippy toes as well. River thinks it’s adorable, the way her light brown hair bounces while she walks, how she lets her head wander around seemingly looking for something, but never finding it. River likes to think she does find it, and she smiles when she does. One time, it was a weird pencil. She didn’t know how she found it, but she did, and she found it mesmerizing. River just found it ugly and broken looking. This time, River was watching her. Watching the sun shine down on her tan skin, making her faint freckles on her nose look more vibrant. He didn’t just look, he took in the beauty of his “bestfriend.” Most days, the longer he stared at her, the longer he felt like he loved her. Is that what it is? Ash turned her head to look at him. Her arm was still around his shoulder and she was at this point hanging on for dear life as they went down the hill to D building. Her face was still mere inches away from his. He felt her breath hitch for a second. She looked worried. He noticed how she was examining his face, that made him smile. It wasn’t a big smile, but it was a small content smile. She then smiled, how she did when she found something. River felt his heart thump a bit too loud for a second. He smiled bigger. He thought for a second, ‘Was I the thing she was trying to find?’</p><p>In drama, they sat in their seats, conveniently right next to each other. Like they had already known would happen, the teacher said there was free time, and let the kids do what they wish. Some went outside, some stayed inside to talk with their friends. River and Ash went outside. “Hey, princess,” River started, hesitating, trying to gauge her reaction. She turned to him, wide eyed. He gave a mischievous smile and continued, “You wanna skip the rest of today?” River looked back at he school from the yard outside of it. “Sure, whatever. I don’t really care...” He grinned— “As long as I can spend the rest of today with you. I don’t care.” He froze, shocked. Did Ash really just say that? Did she just say something she said about all the crushes she’s ever had, to him? HIM? “Uh-“ He stumbled with his words, “Uh- Of course, it wouldn’t be any fun to skip without me anyway, would it love?” He saved himself, at least he had hoped. He fidgeted with his thumbs. “Okay. River can I ask you something...” River peeked down at her from the corner of his eye. “Shoot.” She picked at the loose strings on her shorts. </p><p>“If you were to have a superpower... like telekinesis..?” She resisted looking at him, for some reason. “If you had that, would you be scared? If you didn’t know how to control it?” River’s eyebrows furrowed what the hell question was that. “I don’t know... Heh... What type of question is-“ Ash covered his mouth with her hand. “Give me a real answer... please.” River peeled her hand off his mouth, “I see we’re begging for attention, again, aren’t we strawberry shortcake.” “I don’t beg.” “I bet I could make you..” He knew that joke wasn’t really a joke and more of a fantasy. What the fuck. “Whatthefuck” Ash choked out. He giggled, but ash did not. “River, be serious. What would you do..” Ash stared down. “Ash, pet, is there something wrong? Are you turning into a schizophrenic or a superhero?” River could read her mind. She was probably only asking this and being serious about it because she had saw something or had done something that would trigger her to think something like that was happening to her. He looked into her dark brown eyes, he felt enchanted by them. Like he was in a dream, all about her. </p><p>River knew her. River... felt things for her. Maybe it was lust, he’s going through puberty after all. Maybe, it was a crush. Maybe he was mistaking platonic love for romance. Maybe, as much as he hated to think of it, maybe he was in love. In love with his best friend. With Ash... And he thought it. He thought it a lot. He hated thinking it, he hated the idea of it so much. But... He thought he was in love with “River” He stared at her standing above him.  He must have ben so caught up in his thoughts he zoned out. He stared at her. “What?” He asked innocently. She leaned down. “Ash, what are you doing-?” He said, as he felt her breathing rise, and their noses touch. She stayed silent. She sat up again, looked down at him. He moved on leg to the side of his thigh, doing the same with the other. She straddled him and had this look. It was an expression , and if it was, River was too dumbfounded by what was happening to realize. She looked unreal. He watched as his mouth gaped open. She let her hands slide all over him, touching places he never expected anyone to touch. She looked back up, at his lips, then leaned in and kissed him.</p><p>“RIVER!” Ash shouted, putting her hands into her face. “What the actual fuck, dude?” River looked around, what the fuck just happened? He looked at her, searching for answers. “Dude, you fell asleep and put your head in my lap, like, mid conversation.” She looked down at him, luckily not in the same way as before. He sat up immediately. “Uh, anyway..” He said scratching the back of his neck. “Ashie, dear, I love you-“ He choked on spit for a second. Her eyes widened. He finally got it out of his system as quickly has he could have and continued. “But, I’m gonna have to go for a while, I’ll see you next time the bell rings, at the basketball court-“ He said standing up, “I promise you I won’t leave you hanging, just please be there, because I have-“ Her amused expression was fading into a small broken frown. She really wanted him to stay have much? “-Have to go! I’m sorry, bye-“ He breathed, then hurried off into the building into the bathroom. When he finally got into a stall, locking the door, he checked his watch. He just left Ash alone for an hour and a half. Shit.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2: The Kiss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ash blinked. She was dumbfounded. What the hell had just happened? Ash had thought too much today. It was supposed to be normal today. Emphasis on the supposed. He just ran off! He left her there! She scoffed at the utter absurdity of him, and stood up. Man, she felt so awkward. How in the hell was she supposed to sit there, all alone, with no friends, for an hour and a half? Huh? No. She looked back toward the teacher. His back was turned. Her mind raced. Maybe… Maybe… Maybe she should go get River. The first place he would've gone is the bathroom. Ash decided that’s the first place she will go too. She hurried into the school, shutting the door quietly behind her, checking if the teacher had seen. She turned back. The doors were all shut and it was rather quiet. The only thing she could hear was the faint laughing from one room, who likely had freetime, and a dramatic movie playing. She scrunched her nose up walking past one of the doors… there was left over food all over the tables, some of it half eaten some of it crumbs. She watched her shoes moving, pacing down to the bathroom. Nobody was in sight. It felt odd. She put her hand on the boys bathroom door, pushed it open, and was overwhelmed with a disgusting smell. It wasn't all bad once she got used to it, it smelled the same as the girls bathroom, only stronger, so much stronger, it was gross, grosser than anything else she had smelt this year. She hesitated, but heard breathing.. “River?” Ash called aloud. She heard the breathing hitch. “River I know you’re in here.” She stepped in further. Ash dropped her head down, she saw his red converse. “Bitch.” She mumbled under her breath. She stomped over to the stall, planning on banging it, but accidentally pushed it open. River was just looking at Ash. He was slightly leaned back against the wall, slanted, and he was on the verge of hyperventilating. “Idiot.” Ash sighed, draggin him up. “Ash..” He whispered. “What the fuck are you doing?” She looked her up and down, then looked around the boys bathroom. “Am I in the wrong restroom, or are you?” River questioned walking towards the door. “Me. I came to get you.” Ash shook her head. River turned to stare at her observantly. “Ashie, love, why did you ask me that?” Ash flushed. “Why’d you run away?” River turned away blushing. “I asked you first.” “I asked you second.” They both turned back toward each other.</p><p> Their faces were mere inches away. Ash looked at him innocently, River, Ash could tell, did the exact opposite. He was leaning in, slightly, slowly.. Ash was hesitant. In that moment, she had realized something. Something she felt towards River since she met him. Ash felt the need to either stop this, now, or to make it last forever. All she had known was that River was leaning in, closer and closer, every god fucking moment he was closer. Her eyelashes fluttered. His eyes were only on her lips. “Ri-” She had stuttered, but choked. He was so close. Too close. “River-” Her breath hitched. River was leaning in. Suddenly, his lips were on hers. His vanilla scent fell into her, and she absorbed all of it. She pushed into him. Her hands moving up to his face, grabbing his head to push them together more. She felt, well she felt something. It wasn't like fireworks, like how it is in movies. It was content, satisfaction. That’s how she felt every time she found out someone liked her back. It was admittedly more intense, but there was something.. Else. Not inside of her body. It was in her head. It wasn't guilt, or a feeling even, it felt, static-y. It felt wrong. It was a nostalgic feeling- a recent feeling. Suddenly, he was licking against her lips, begging to go further. Everything felt like it was in slow motion. Ash opened her eyes, for a second, she gasped, and pulled back. His hair... was floating. His blonde curls were pulling up into the air. Rivers eyes widened. She looked down, her feet wer now off the ground. She heard screaming from outside the bathroom. She looked around her, the toilets were pulling off the wall and floor. Everything was falling apart, or rather, floating apart. She felt heavy all of a sudden, and then she fell back down. There was a loud CRASH and a BOOM- She covered her ears.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if you are reading this before its done, that's embarrassing- but anyway. I'm not done with this chapter. I wrote this in drama was all, and I have to go now. Ill continue it and post it later!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3: The Head</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>plalnngignns</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4: The Static</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>mwa mwa lalala</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5: The Dreaming</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>big dream big</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>aaaaaa</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the only thing im gonna tell u is that everytime it will split between river and ash's pov, so thats fun</p></blockquote></div></div>
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